In a surprising move, officials from nouspique.com announced today that Nouspique would forgive the Vatican for its abuse of the idea of forgiveness. Since its founding in 2004, nouspique.com has enjoyed a healthy dialogue with members of the College of Cardinals as well as with members of the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops. Recently, L’Osservatore Romano tipped off Nouspique about the plan to forgive the late John Lennon for statements made 44 years ago.
The statements in question were: “Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink We’re more popular than Jesus now – I don’t know which will go first, rock and roll or Christianity. Jesus was alright, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.”
Nouspique offered the following suggestions:
1. It isn’t really forgiveness if the person being forgiven doesn’t know about it.
Benny: Is that because he’s dead? Or because he’s in hell? Either way, the message will still reach him.
Nouspique: Benny, Benny, Benny. You can’t hide behind figments of your collective imagination.
2. It isn’t really forgiveness if the statement you once found so objectionable happens to be true. Who is wronged by the truth?
Benny: Oh come on, Nouspique. The church is likely to go before rock and roll? Don’t make me laugh. We’re vital to human existence. Just look at all the important work we do?
Nouspique: What? Like forgiving dead rock stars?
3. It isn’t forgiveness unless the victim of the offense himself offers the forgiveness.
Benny: Yes. And we speak for the one holy catholic and apostolic church, the body of Christ.
Nouspique: How many albums did Jesus sell?
Nouspique has offered to forgive the Vatican for its tendency to engage in tabloid-like sensationalism which distracts from substantive issues, but Vatican officials have responded that such forgiveness wouldn’t be true forgiveness because it wouldn’t have the requisite smarminess, self-serving feel-good quality, or media attention.
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace