There’s a thread runs through everything
and a seamstress with a camel the size
of a needle’s eye, though it’s not the eye
that worries me, but the other end,
a steel point that runs me through
like the pin the entomologists use
to fix their bugs to the mounting board.
The Fates don’t clip the thread, you know.
Whoever said that was prevaricating.
What they do is jam us flush
to the other beads they’ve sown in place
so we can’t see our comrades strung
out way down the line. Except when
it gets late and they fold the cloth
and they stuff it in the linen closet.
There, we huddle, afraid in the dark,
rubbing up against those with whom
we feel so connected it makes us retch.
With their breath on our faces, and
their stink and their sweat and the
strangeness of their strange tongues
worming wet willies into our ears,
we complain that it was better when
the cloth was laid out flat and
we could hold our pattern true,
lines neat, all the while bragging:
There’s a thread runs through everything.





The vacuum cleaner wasn’t working. After three weeks on the road, Harlan wanted to clean out the van, get rid of the stray potato chips and gas station receipts and pea gravel tracked in from motel parking lots. He wanted to give the van a real going-over. But when he ran the nozzle across the upholstery, nothing happened. The vacuum cleaner roared the way vacuum cleaners are supposed to roar, but all the suck was gone out of it. Harlan turned off the machine and, popping it open, saw that the bag was full. He went inside where he found Lisa pulling things from the medicine cabinet and dumping them into the sink.
I first encountered the name,
Futurist is not the first word that comes to mind when describing Julian Barnes. However, after reading Staring at the Sun, published in 1987, one wonders if he might not have enjoyed a fertile alternate career as a science fiction writer. The novel starts as a straight-up realistic account of a woman named Jean Serjeant born in the 1920′s, conventional parents, an eccentric Uncle Leslie of whom she is very fond, a flyer named Tommy Prosser who is grounded and billeted at the Serjeant house during the war, a stale marriage to a policeman named Michael, a timid son named Gregory. As the novel progresses, it promises a poignant reflection on life, mortality and the miracle of the ordinary … until we reach the final section and discover that Jean is now a hundred years old, which means that the novel’s present is sometime after 2020. From a 1987 point of view, the world enjoys as yet undreamt-of developments, including something that sounds a lot like Google.

Thanks a shitload, Karen Armstrong.
During the Christmas holidays, I had my comeuppance. I had to face my family and confess that I had lost my iPhone. Two weeks earlier, while moving my daughter home from university for the holidays, she lost her Blackberry. She hadn’t even owned it for a month and it vanished in the parking lot of a Tim Horton’s. Oh the lectures I gave! The haranguing I did! I told her, we might as well burn hundred dollar bills for fun. I told her, we might as well treat the telcos as registered charities and give them our money. And then, in one of those karmic twists that makes my life look a late-night reality TV rerun, I found myself standing before my daughter, head bowed, hearing my own words chimed back at me. To be fair, my daughter felt badly for me. She knew that, as hard as I had been on her, I was ten times as hard on myself.
Almost two years ago, The Guardian published 

I bookended 2011 with two large novels. In January, I read Witz, by Joshua Cohen, a sprawling brilliant novel which I would set on my shelf beside the likes of Gravity’s Rainbow and Infinite Jest. In December, I read 1Q84, by Haruki Murakami, also a sprawling novel which 




27. January 2012