Niels Bohr had nine items, one too many for the express line, so he had to wait in a regular line behind a woman with five snot-nosed kids and two buggies overflowing with groceries. Bohr wondered if something had happened to the space-time continuum to make his wait in line seem more interminable than it already was. With nothing better to do, he scanned the rack of tabloids and noted the latest issue of the International Enquirer from that damned Carl Jung and his publishing house, the Unconscious Collective. Jung was at it again. This week, the front page featured shocking new photos of the Loch Ness Monster. The photos (allegedly) came from a German nanny on vacation with her employers in the Scottish Highlands. In an exclusive interview, she said that after putting the children down for their nap, she went to the banks of the lake for some time alone, and on her third beer, heard a great splash and turned to see a giant beast rising from the water. The way it’s neck curved, it looked like a cross between a swan and a brontosaurus. The nanny was lucky to have a camera with her, and even though she wasn’t able to get it in focus, the photo was good enough to give an impression of the beast and its enormity.