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Degrees Of Separation

Posted on November 7, 2019October 16, 2022 by David Barker
Elderly man crosses the intersection of Yonge and Dundas Streets in downtown Toronto.

My wife can walk into any room and discover she is connected to countless people there in countless ways. Soon she is catching up with old friends, or friends of friends. Soon friends of friends of friends are her friends. Before there was social media, there was my wife.

I can walk into the same room, make the same discovery, but as I chat with the friend of a friend of a friend, we fall to silence and I feel as separated from this person as I would feel if we inhabited different planets.

I was at an event when a woman I sort of know questioned the six-degrees-of-separation trope. Really, it’s only three, she laughed. I’m supposed to hear this as an upbeat observation, but I receive it as something else. Whether six degrees or three, separation is still separation. Sometimes I feel separation when there are no degrees.

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