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Category: Elbow

The category, Elbow, is for posts that make us laugh.

His Left Behind

Posted on December 13, 2006October 17, 2022 by David Barker

At the end of time, Joe met his worst nightmare. The rapture came & he had to go to the bathroom. With his pants around his ankles, the angels snatched him up. All of him, that is, except … His Left Behind.

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V is for Vasectomy

Posted on November 26, 2006October 17, 2022 by David Barker

Not long ago, the topic of vasectomies came up in conversation at a family dinner. I mentioned the dreaded “v” word just to watch my brother’s response—the grimace and the sudden shift in the chair as he drew one leg over the other. My brother and I are, in some ways, vastly different people. And application of the “v” word acts as a kind of litmus test that quickly determines which sort each of us is.

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Presbycusis & The Mosquito Ring Tone

Posted on October 24, 2006October 17, 2022 by David Barker

My son came up to me and said: “Hey Dad, listen to my new ring tone.” He opened his phone, pushed a button, and held it up for me to listen. I was expecting another piece of music, maybe something loud, or something with a pulsing rhythm. I waited. But there was nothing.

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Fucking High

Posted on May 2, 2006October 17, 2022 by David Barker

On Sunday, my daughter had her first confirmation class. The minister, to his credit, asked the kids to bring along a song—whatever they happened to be listening to—so that he could get a feel for where they are in their lives. My daughter asked if I could burn “You’re Beautiful” to a CD for her.

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The Lost Book of the Bible

Posted on September 6, 2005October 17, 2022 by David Barker

I went to the airport to pick up my in-laws from vacation, and because their flight was delayed, I went to the nearest news stand to find something to read. I couldn’t help but notice the headline for the “Sun: Found in Dead Sea Cave … Lost Book of the Bible”.

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Is there life after death?

Posted on August 9, 2005October 17, 2022 by David Barker

I just had to laugh. I was walking past a box, like the newspaper boxes, that displayed a free Summer 2005 syllabus for The Learning Annex. The cover features what I presume to be their most popular course: “Is There Life After Death? Find Out!” I hope I’m not the only person who thinks this…

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Whatever Happened to Crad Kilodney

Posted on November 6, 2004October 17, 2022 by David Barker

This is a question that has plagued me for some time now—at least since lunch time. After all, this is the man who distinguished himself in 1991 by becoming the only Canadian ever to be arrested for selling his writing.

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A Visit from the CAS

Posted on August 27, 2004October 17, 2022 by David Barker

This is a war story – doing battle with the complicated world we have created for ourselves. I was acting for a young man, and at our last court appearance, his mother told a tale on him while we were waiting in the lobby.

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