I think I’m in love with the woman in the picture frame I bought. Do picture frame models ever have stalkers?
Tag: Humour
Elephant Brand
Dream Sequence #1 – Die Fledermaus
I need to stop eating weird things before I go to bed, otherwise I wake up remembering dreams like this:
Stupid Joke for Egyptologists
A mummy pulls into a gas station and says: “Fill it up.” The attendant steps around to the driver’s side, unscrews the cap, and starts pumping gas. When he’s done, he says to the mummy: “That’ll be fifty bucks.” The mummy is annoyed and says: “I said to fill it up. You’ve only done half…
New Edition of Merchant of Venice expected
NewNorthByNorthWest Inc., a publisher of literary classics for use in secondary school curriculum, has announced that a new edition of Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice is in the works and is expected to be available in time for the 2011/12 school year. A staple of English curriculum even a generation ago, Shakespeare’s tale of love and usury has appeared in fewer and fewer English programs as parent teacher associations increasingly raise objections to the work.
Peter Nap: J.M. Barrie’s Forgotten Sequel
Political Correctness Saved My Soul
As I was walking my dog this morning, I found myself reflecting on a few of the many ways prejudice infected my childhood and how political correctness saved me.
World Oldest Shoe Discovered in Armenian Cave
Scientists excavating in an Armenian cave discovered a size 7 right shoe that is 5,500 years old.
America’s Next Top Stick Person
Apparently there”s this show on TV, hosted by Tyra Banks, which celebrates eating disorders in America. I’d love to watch it sometime, but it’s only on during my designated times when I lock myself in the bathroom and make myself puke into the toilet. It’s this after-dinner ritual I have.
G8 to share Deerhurst with Mosquitoes
With the G8 leaders summit fast approaching (June 25th & 26th), security seems to be on everybody’s mind, but the biggest threat to the safety and comfort of world leaders will probably come in six-legged packages.
Stupid Buddhist Joke of the Week
Every week I go to Friends of the Heart for a fix of mindfulness meditation, and half way through we break for some conversation. This week, Gwen, the woman who leads the sits, was commenting on the fact that we in the west have inherited the rationalist mind/body dualism whereas Buddhism treats mind and body as integrated. Then she told a joke:
Overqualified, by Joey Comeau
Dear Mr. Comeau, Please accept my application for position of book reviewer. I thought I’d start with your epistolary novella, Overqualified, published by ECW Press here in Toronto. As you can see already, I have a basic grasp of the big words that literary types like to use when talking about the stuff that authors, you know, produce when they write stuff.
When stick people break up
A Plant That Contains Wheat
For those of us who like to troll the waters of ambiguous language, one of the most rewarding angles (in a manner of speaking) is to read descriptions on product packaging. While those who do the layout for packaging are generally more intentional about their use of ambiguity, this skill isn’t a job requirement for those who write copy for the ingredient list.
Nouspique Forgives The Vatican
In a surprising move, officials from nouspique.com announced today that Nouspique would forgive the Vatican for its abuse of the idea of forgiveness.