Writings, Reviews, Cultural Criticism
Mohammed had been sitting outside on a rock for about a thousand years when Youssef pushed his way from the tent to join his brother. For nearly a hundred years, Mohammed had been waiting on the rock while Youssef deflowered virgin number seventy-two, taking her every-which-way his imagination would allow.
For those of us who like to troll the waters of ambiguous language, one of the most rewarding angles (in a manner of speaking) is to read descriptions on product packaging. While those who do the layout for packaging are generally more intentional about their use of ambiguity, this skill isn’t a job requirement for those who write copy for the ingredient list.
better to not play catch on the roofbetter to not get your fingers caught in a snow blowerbetter to not get struck by lightening on a golf coursebetter to not fall onto subway tracks during rush hourbetter to not eat sliced ham from the leftoversbetter to not use condoms that have sat too long in…
A popular target of liberal religious criticism is the “literal interpretation.” This is an idea which is easy enough to dispose of—“literal interpretation” is incoherent since, by definition, if something is interpreted, then it’s not literal.
Norm and I had been on vacation when Ed across the road from us took his spell or whatever it was he took that ended up killing him and left poor Thelma all alone in that big old house of hers. So, on account of us being in Wichita Falls at the time, Norm and I never had a chance to console Thelma or even bring her a casserole until three weeks after the fact.
If you’re gonna rat me out to my boss then you can just go fuck yourself. And besides … there’s no way on god’s green earth I’ll ever tell you what I’m doin’ home on a weekday watchin’ the Maury show. Oh ya, there’s Springer too.
In a surprising move, officials from nouspique.com announced today that Nouspique would forgive the Vatican for its abuse of the idea of forgiveness.
Something I try to ignore is business writing. However, I stumbled upon the American Express Open Forum with the tagline: “A wealth of resources for savvy business owners.” In particular, I stumbled upon a short piece by Guy Kawasaki called “Literature and Narrative Management.”
In the November issue of The Atlantic, Andrew Sullivan offers us “Why I Blog”, an extended meditation upon this still-emerging form. Although Sullivan cut his teeth in the world of print, he knows what he’s talking about. He made the leap in 2000 and is the personality behind The Daily Dish.
While conservative Christians are hostile towards atheists, Harris laces his book with such invective against Islam and reaches such extreme conclusions that there must be at least a few Fundie preachers who take secret delight in his writing.
It was the best of busts; it was the worst of busts, the day I took down Tony Sarducci.
Last week, 85 year old poppy-selling veteran, Alan Lawrence, was told to leave the premises of The Bay office tower in Toronto. He was selling poppies to raise money for the Poppy Trust Fund which then makes distributions to vets who have suffered from bad retirement planning advice.
I had just posted yesterday’s entry about how nothing will really change with Obama given that certain ideological assumptions (like consumerism) transcend partisan politics, when spam arrived in my in-box inviting me to purchase my very own Obama commemorative plate and mug.
I had promised myself I wouldn’t write a “morning after” commentary, but I’ve grown tired of the grandiose electioneering rhetoric and of the even more grandiose claims of the election commentators. I can’t help but burst the bubble: Obama will fail.