In a startling revelation today, Charles Dickens confessed to maintaining a blog about an orphan popularly known as “Oliver Twist.” Mr. Dickens admitted that there is, in fact, no such person as Oliver Twist and that he made him up simply as a way to draw attention to the plight of children in industrialized Britain. For months now, people throughout the world, but most especially in London, have been following the harrowing account of a young boy who escaped from the indentured service of an undertaker only to be drawn in to a ring of pickpockets and thieves. Critics charge that, as well intentioned as Dickens might be, he was nevertheless lying.
For his part, Charles Dickens explained his behaviour by stating that he was merely seeking attention. In addition, he hoped for a book deal. In effect, he was motivated by money. He said he was inspired by Jonathon Swift, whose blog about a variable-sized man was enormously popular in the previous century. The blog, formerly at http://wordpress.gulliverstravels.com was subsequently revealed to be a hoax. Swift was also the man behind another hoax in which he encouraged cannibalism, and, because some were not able to identify the hoax before acting on his proposal, caused some consternation.
Journalists have lashed out at Mr. Dickens, stating that because the only purpose of online writing is the transmission of factual information, he is polluting the medium and making their jobs more difficult. While Dickens appears contrite, fellow hoaxter, George Eliot, has stepped into the fray. Eliot, who has the temerity to be a woman, is known for her blog about a gay woman in Damascus and has been widely criticized for making things up. Dickens assures his critics that he will never do such a thing again, he apologizes, and he reminds his readers that there is, in fact, no such thing as a ghost of Christmas past.