This photo of my dog reminds me of Elton John. It also reminds me that it’s important to distinguish the functions of apostrophes. There are apostrophes to indicate possession. e.g. The bitch’s back i.e. the back that belongs to the bitch. And there are apostrophes to indicate contraction. e.g. The bitch’s back i.e. The bitch is back. Elton John’s written lyrics don’t have a contraction. But he sings with a contraction (mostly because he doesn’t enunciate properly). But I guess when you’re Elton John and earning gazillions of dollars, enunciation doesn’t really matter. It also reminds me of how, when I was maybe eleven, I had a crush on a girl named … well, her name is neither here nor there. One day at recess, she confessed that she was saving up to buy one of Elton John’s chest hairs. I think a radio station was selling them. That, of course, was back in the olden days before eBay. This girl had it sweet on Elton John and she barely acknowledged my existence. I hated Elton John’s guts, but I put on a brave face and pretended to like him because that’s the sort of sacrifice you make when you’re in love. Later, he came out, and I quietly laughed to myself. Ha! She could’ve had my chest hairs for free (not that I had any when I was eleven). The bitch!