I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t laugh in public at someone else’s writing. Especially when I’m publishing some of my own work in a couple weeks. It’s courting disaster. It’s bad karma. I might as well step into the crosshairs and pull the trigger on myself. And yet I can’t help it.
I’ve stumbled across some of the most amazing stuff on Smashwords. Book blurbs by a Japanese writer. I wonder if he ran the books through babelfish to produce English translations.
My favourite is the blurb for Insatiable Love:
Naomi divorces her husband Kenya because she feels he doesn’t love her any more, but who ends up struggling desperately to support her children. Kenya gets a girlfriend, but who happens to know that cancer is gnawing his liver. They take a trip together to India and enjoy a significant time to learn the true love.
There are some choice snippets in the other blurbs. From Precious You:
He falls in love with his female boss, Kaida, who smells so sweet that it makes him feel quite happy, though she is quite ugly.
Here’s something from You and None Other:
She continues to have a secret meeting with Misaki in their condos, for she’s made to feel incomparably cozy and much better in love with him than with her fiancé.
Siddhartha Gautama:
Gautama Buddha after enlightenment carries out propagation of the Buddhist faith with his attendant all over the country. They keep on preaching sermons, especially to those women who have suffered with a lot of bad karmas, or anguishes, up until he dies.
The Cry of Morning Glory:
Aiko was raped by her classmates and delivered a fatherless baby, but who can’t, for the life of her, recall that her baby died before or after birth.
The Pleasure of Rustics:
Some earthenware and pottery of an antique collector have powers to not only transform into humans and animals but also to go underground as well as to fly in the air. They travel across China, India, Tibet, etc, where they have a wide variety of experiences, and finally come back to their master in Japan to have a good time.