nouspique.com » Scribbles

Ode To A Bowl Full Of Breath Mints

David Barker — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 20:13:43 +0000

Instead of staring at the damn thing, why didn’t Keats look inside the urn? Maybe he would have found candies or cigarette butts. Instead he just went on and on about sylvan lovers chasing one another around the outside.

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Silence

David Barker — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 23:48:12 +0000

An antidote to the banal expressions that accompany our deepest feelings:

March 19, 2010

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Disaster Scenario

David Barker — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:50:10 +0000

In the Western world, the worst thing that could happen is to discover that one has run out of toilet paper.

March 12, 2010

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Freedom to Screw Up

David Barker — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:52:38 +0000

I think one of the greatest freedoms we can accord one another is the freedom to be mistaken.

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Story Idea: Body in Suburbia

David Barker — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:28:26 +0000

Police discover a body leaning against a swing set in a park in the middle of suburbia. It’s in the advanced stages of decomposition, with one of those skeletal grins. CSI types are called to the scene to investigate. They try to reconstruct the events leading up to the victim’s death. They determine that the victim had come home from work on a Friday evening only to discover that he had forgotten his house key. He knocked on his neighbour’s door, but his neighbour never heard because he was so engrossed in a Reality TV show. He knocked on other doors too, but the home theatre systems with Dolby 5.1 surround sound drowned out his cries for help. He started to walk through the twisting streets of suburbia. Pretty soon, every house on every street started to look like every other house on every other street. After a day of wandering, he realized he was lost in the labyrinthine heart of suburbia. He never met anyone else on the street. Everyone was busy cocooning in front of their big screens. Sometimes a Hummer would rush by, but with the tinted windows, he had no idea of anyone ever noticed him. He tried to get water from down spouts, but it wasn’t enough to stave off the dehydration. He tried to catch a feral cat, but it was too fast. Eventually he came to a playground where he sat with his back propped against one pole of a swing set. Surely a nanny would chance upon him if he waited enough. But nannies didn’t walk their children anymore; they rode in Subarus to community centre play groups with underground parking lots so they didn’t have to go outdoors. The coroner determines that the victim died of dehydration and exposure. It isn’t a suspicious death after all.

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Comment Spam

David Barker — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 18:06:46 +0000

Ever notice the generic congratulatory tone of comment spam (e.g. “What a wonderful and insightful post. Please keep writing. Loved it.”) and then, of course, there is the obligatory link to a website hawking remedies for erectile dysfunction. Just once, I’d love to see comment spam that read: “Your writing is the worst pile of shit I’ve ever laid eyes on. I regret polluting my brain with the tripe you churn out.” For that, I might be willing to approve the comment, even if it does link to one of those ED websites.

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on-off – chicken-egg

David Barker — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 02:26:35 +0000

The on/off switch. The transistor. The basis of binary code. What if it’s all wrong? What if the physical universe functions on a ternary system and we simply haven’t noticed the third element? What if it’s “on/off/non-existent”? “Off” isn’t really off but an unrealized “on” – a potentiality. Or what if “on” and “off” sit on the same side of the polarity and “non-existent” on the other? Just as chicken and egg isn’t an either/or proposition, but two states of the same entity. The true polarity in the chicken/egg scenario is “smashed.”

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A story is …

David Barker — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 15:14:18 +0000

A story is a proposition whose argument is its author’s world view. Yes? No? hmmm

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Ubiquitous

David Barker — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 04:17:13 +0000

Cell phones are so ubiquitous it’s like they’re everywhere.

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Lit Twit

David Barker — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 19:04:41 +0000

I’ve coined a new phrase to describe myself: I’m a lit twit. A lit twit is someone who follows literary tweets on twitter.com.

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